I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize