double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
