I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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