Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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