I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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