Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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