just come out here and I will go home with you...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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