if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
