Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
