Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize