Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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