I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
