i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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