2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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