I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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