I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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