playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
