Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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