just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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