Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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