Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
