No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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