I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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