I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
