She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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