I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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