hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
not ubering you a puppy
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