I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
