Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
