Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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