i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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