i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize