hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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