Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
