I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
