Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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