Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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