Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Floor bacon is actually really good
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
