You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
