I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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