i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
