Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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