Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize