She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
