Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
