Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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