We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize