I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
