im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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