she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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