I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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