My first STD was from a foam party
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
