i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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