I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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